Rerun: Hold 2021 MLB All Star Game in Oregon

With Atlanta (finally) hosting the All Star Game tonight, we revisit one of my better ideas

The University of Oregon’s PK Park would have been a safe place for 2021 All Star Game.

Tonight, the Major League Baseball All Star Game will be held in Atlanta, Georgia. It was supposed to be held there in 2021, until MLB decided it didn’t like Georgia’s then-new voting law, which then-President Joe Biden said was “Jim Crow in the 21st Century.” Well, the law’s still there, the state’s had record voter turnout and MLB forgot its prior objections, I guess.

I published this open letter on April 5, 2021, in an attempt to sway MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred to hold the All Star Game in Oregon. Surprisingly, it didn’t work. The game was in Denver that year.

Dear Mr. Manfred:

I understand you’re very busy, what with the 2021 season underway and the challenge of finding a new location for the All Star Game after Georgia rendered itself an ineligible host by enacting a new election law. So, let me get right to the point: the only acceptable replacement host state is Oregon.

Now, I know you’re thinking, “But Oregon doesn’t have a major league franchise or major league ballpark!” That’s true, but Georgia has those things and look what it did. More importantly, Oregon aligns uniquely well with the MLB’s newfound political priorities, which are, after all, only priorities if they are more important than details like the availability of a suitably sized baseball park. Otherwise, they’re just “priorities.”

Before I get into why Oregon is a uniquely good fit for the All Star Game, you need to know about how you should pronounce the name of the state. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. The only thing that makes Oregonians more angry than mispronouncing the name of the state is if you try to pump your own gas. You say it like it’s spelled “Orygun.” If you say it like it’s spelled “Oreegone” people here get pretty upset, which usually means they don’t say anything, secretly hold it against you and talk behind your back. To put it in perspective, it’s seen as an apostasy on the same level as not recycling which is, well, it’s unthinkable.

Here’s the good news: Oregon makes it very easy for people to vote. We vote by mail, and you don’t need to write your drivers license number on the envelope, like Georgians now must! There are no polling places so voters don’t need to wait in line desperately waiting for campaign staff to bring them water and snacks. We Oregonians fill out our ballots at home, where we can have all the water and snacks, or even meals, we could possibly want while voting. In fact, one of Oregonians’ favorite activities is to gorge themselves while voting a straight Democrat ticket. Oregon voters are well-fed, well-hydrated and well-voting. What more could you want?

Oregonians don’t even have to try to register to vote. If you get a driver’s license, you’re automatically registered to vote. A ballot will just show up in your mail box at the next election whether you want one or not. It’s amazing.

It should be clear to you by now that Oregon meets MLB’s newfound but exacting voting standards. But I can understand you’re probably concerned that the state you choose to host the All Star Game might pull the rug out from under you again by passing an unacceptable law of some kind, election or otherwise, prior to the game. No commissioner wants to have to find a third host state, after all.

The Beaver State’s got your back, Rob, if I may call you Rob. Let’s be honest, it was Republicans who passed Georgia’s voting law, and it’s Republicans who are most likely to mess things up for you again. Guess what, Oregon has almost no Republicans! No Republican has been elected governor since 1982, when Cal Ripken Jr. was the American League Rookie of the Year. Democrats have supermajorities in both houses of the legislature, so the few Republicans in Oregon have almost no say in anything that happens here. You’ll be able to sleep well at night.

Now, let’s think about where in Oregon you should have the game. You might be thinking Portland would be a good choice as the biggest city in the state and also very progressive. Portland has its downsides, though. First, while the voters are very progressive many of them are of the opinion that their city government and especially the police are racist. That’s not good. Second, I wouldn’t put it past the Portland City Council to figure out a way to tax MLB or its all stars. I mean, political values are important, but a league has to make its federal anti-trust protected profits, am I right? Lest you think I’m being overly cautious, Portland has something called an “art tax.”

And you can ignore the eastern two-thirds of the state. Many of the few Republicans in Oregon live there, and some of them want to become part of Idaho which should tell you everything you need to know. Proper-thinking Oregonians usually don’t even remember that eastern Oregon exists unless someone there occupies a federal facility or does something else involving guns. It seems like everything in eastern Oregon involves either guns or secession and, well, you already went through that with Georgia.

Corvallis, a bit south of Portland in the Willamette Valley is home to Oregon State University, which has a very successful baseball program. I initially considered OSU’s Goss Stadium as a good option for you. But then I remembered that the university houses an agricultural program and you and I both know that farmers have some pretty backward political views, so OSU’s out.

A couple hours south of Portland, and half an hour from Corvallis, though, you strike (equal) pay dirt. The city of Eugene is home to the University of Oregon which is home to PK Park, where its baseball team plays. This is the best location in the country for the All Star Game. Let me tell you why.

While Eugene has been eclipsed by Portland as a national symbol for progressive politics, Eugene was really progressive before that term even became cool again. The City of Eugene spent some time hashing out who should use which bathroom 18 years ago or so, when most people didn’t know that was a thing. Prior to Covid, nearby Veneta hosted the annual Oregon Country Fair, which is to hippies what Disneyland is to kids. Just Google it.

The University of Oregon is the beating heart of progressivism for Eugene. No ag students here, but there is a journalism school and you know what that means, Rob.

Indulge me in a brief personal story that will help shed light on UO for you. I went to law school there. I know you went to law school at Harvard, but just think of UO as the Harvard of the southern-mid Willamette Valley. Anyway, my first day of class, I sat next to a fellow student who told me she had grown up in Eugene, went to UO for undergrad and had never talked to a Republican. I’m pretty sure she was serious too.

People used to call the annual football game between UO and OSU the Civil War but last year both schools (but probably especially UO) decided that the name was racist because, as you may know, there was also a real war called that which was good in that a lot of Georgia was burned down but bad in that racists fought in the war. The racists lost but that’s beside the point.

UO’s sports teams are called the Ducks, which is as unoffensive a name as you can find. The name doesn’t involve human beings, which can be pretty touchy. To be frank, I was a little concerned about your original choice of Atlanta for the game because its MLB franchise’s name is, well, it’s a problem. Not so with the Ducks, which are placid and non-threatening animals and not the least bit hateful.

PK Park boasts a capacity of 5,000. That might seem pretty small compared to MLB stadiums, but don’t let that deter you. Oregon’s governor, Kate Brown, is very unlikely to allow in-person attendance at the game anyway. Did I mention that Oregon is really, really careful about COVID? That’s another plus. The last thing you want is an outbreak of one of the variants at your game or pictures of people wearing only one or even zero masks while in attendance. You don’t want a controversy like Florida Governor Ron DeSantis watching the Super Bowl without a mask. I can assure you that Brown would never, ever do that to you.

I hope I’ve convinced you that Oregon is the best and only state for the All Star Game. Please feel free to reach out if I can answer any questions about Oregon’s voting laws or political proclivities generally. You won’t regret choosing Oregon.

Best,

Jeff Eager

PS - When you come to Oregon this summer, don’t get a rental car with California plates. Just trust me on this.